Horse served with a pint of Chaos
Welcome, welcome all to story time with me, your humble host, Eino. Today i´m going to tell you all a story, one more recent, so that you may laugh, learn or may by just have a good time. This is battle report from few days back when i was at my local games store. I did not go there to game, because i was just hanging around there, but the instant i walked in, one of the storekeepers asked me if i had come to play? I declined, since i had no models with me, but the clerk offered me a chance to play with his Warriors of Chaos. I had nothing else to do, so i said yes. At that moment a fellow arrived form the bathroom. I knew that he was Breton player, and he was over cocky and just bad playmate. I instantly knew that i was pitted, almost pimped to play against this player. I had no other choice than to accept his challenge.
Well when i started to make a list, i was a bit disappointed, as they had only a display case army with about 50 warriors, couple of lords and hero´s, chariot, hellcannon, 30 marauders and 10 chosen. I made an army of 20 warriors of Nurgle with shields, 10 x 2 warriors of Khorne with additional hand weapons, 10 chosen of Tzeentch (with shields and ring of fireball) to guard my Lvl 4 Sorcerer, who took 2 spells from lore of metal and 2 from lore of Tzeentch. 2 Exalted heros of Khorne (one Battle standard bearer) with additional hand weapons and a Hellcannon. For 2000 point list this might not be the most strongest or balanced, but it would have to do.
Deployment:
We rolled of and i won. I took the first turn and deployed my Warriors of Nurgle in 10 man wide ranks. On the side i deployed my Khorne Warriors with Exalted Heros. Chosen took the rear behind my Warriors of Nurgle and Hellcannon took the nearest hill. My opponent laughed at my deployment, as it was "very beginner like". Well it was hard to take from a man with almost 50 horsemen. He had 4x9 Knights of the Realm blocks ( i think) and 5 Grail knights with a mounted lord ( thats 42 you asshat) and some 20 peasant bowmen and a trebuche. He said something on the lines of how this going to be so easy.
Turn 1: No Rocks for you, asshat!
I marched my army forwards and shot my hellcannon at the trebuche, destroying it. That was a good start but nothing else. He charged 3 blocks of knights at my nurgle block, trap was set and sprung, last block moved toward my cannon and Grail Knights went toward my flank and warlord. Fight itself was disapointing. My warriors stroke first and, whatcha know, killed 4 knights and my champion, who challenged his sergeant, killed it in the first strikes. He was rewarded with +1T. Knights did very poor them selves, killing only 1 warrior per unit. None of the knights ran. And so started turn 2
Turn 2: +2 armor eh....
Remember those 10 man Warrior squads? Well now was their turn to shine. They both charged the flanks of those knights, who were in close combat with my another warriors. Before the slaughter could begin, i stunned, shaked and immobilized my opponent. i charged my cannon, yes CANNON toward the knights that were only 8" away from them (fourth block, that charged toward my cannon). Now was magic time, baby! Spells of Tzeentch did monkeys ass, but i aimed my Final Transmutation at my enemy´s Questing Knights. Final Transmutation: cast +15, all models in unit roll d6. on 5 or 6 remove with no saves allowed, Models with 2 or more wounds are removed on 6. He shoots, He scores! 3 Knights were turned to solid gold. After this, i irresistable forced powerd searing doom down their throats, making the take 9(2D6) +2 wounding hits with no armor saves. Needless to say this destroyed my opponent. After that it was my cannon turn. Knights tried, but were in vain. My cannon killed 3 of them and its handlers killed 1, making them run. Elsewhere, my warriors about destroyed rest of the knights, leaving 1 running knight unit and 1 full peasant bowmen unit. This was apparently enough for my opponent.
Aftermath: My opponent started to pack quickly, i offered to shake hands, but he refused. He was obviously pissed like a public bathroom during a festival. He left as the Clerks watched confusedly at my running opponent. I placed the models back, with assistance from one of the clerks and i was congratulated. After this i left and cursed at my bus, driving past me.
Okay heres the lesson kids, If you lose, its okay, unless your opponent is a dick. Lose gracefully says the old folk. And also, don´t do all horses, they are good chargers, unless they are charged, or are in a prolonged close combat. Now i hope you enjoyed. This was your host, Eino. Signing off.
Well when i started to make a list, i was a bit disappointed, as they had only a display case army with about 50 warriors, couple of lords and hero´s, chariot, hellcannon, 30 marauders and 10 chosen. I made an army of 20 warriors of Nurgle with shields, 10 x 2 warriors of Khorne with additional hand weapons, 10 chosen of Tzeentch (with shields and ring of fireball) to guard my Lvl 4 Sorcerer, who took 2 spells from lore of metal and 2 from lore of Tzeentch. 2 Exalted heros of Khorne (one Battle standard bearer) with additional hand weapons and a Hellcannon. For 2000 point list this might not be the most strongest or balanced, but it would have to do.
Deployment:
We rolled of and i won. I took the first turn and deployed my Warriors of Nurgle in 10 man wide ranks. On the side i deployed my Khorne Warriors with Exalted Heros. Chosen took the rear behind my Warriors of Nurgle and Hellcannon took the nearest hill. My opponent laughed at my deployment, as it was "very beginner like". Well it was hard to take from a man with almost 50 horsemen. He had 4x9 Knights of the Realm blocks ( i think) and 5 Grail knights with a mounted lord ( thats 42 you asshat) and some 20 peasant bowmen and a trebuche. He said something on the lines of how this going to be so easy.
Turn 1: No Rocks for you, asshat!
I marched my army forwards and shot my hellcannon at the trebuche, destroying it. That was a good start but nothing else. He charged 3 blocks of knights at my nurgle block, trap was set and sprung, last block moved toward my cannon and Grail Knights went toward my flank and warlord. Fight itself was disapointing. My warriors stroke first and, whatcha know, killed 4 knights and my champion, who challenged his sergeant, killed it in the first strikes. He was rewarded with +1T. Knights did very poor them selves, killing only 1 warrior per unit. None of the knights ran. And so started turn 2
Turn 2: +2 armor eh....
Remember those 10 man Warrior squads? Well now was their turn to shine. They both charged the flanks of those knights, who were in close combat with my another warriors. Before the slaughter could begin, i stunned, shaked and immobilized my opponent. i charged my cannon, yes CANNON toward the knights that were only 8" away from them (fourth block, that charged toward my cannon). Now was magic time, baby! Spells of Tzeentch did monkeys ass, but i aimed my Final Transmutation at my enemy´s Questing Knights. Final Transmutation: cast +15, all models in unit roll d6. on 5 or 6 remove with no saves allowed, Models with 2 or more wounds are removed on 6. He shoots, He scores! 3 Knights were turned to solid gold. After this, i irresistable forced powerd searing doom down their throats, making the take 9(2D6) +2 wounding hits with no armor saves. Needless to say this destroyed my opponent. After that it was my cannon turn. Knights tried, but were in vain. My cannon killed 3 of them and its handlers killed 1, making them run. Elsewhere, my warriors about destroyed rest of the knights, leaving 1 running knight unit and 1 full peasant bowmen unit. This was apparently enough for my opponent.
Aftermath: My opponent started to pack quickly, i offered to shake hands, but he refused. He was obviously pissed like a public bathroom during a festival. He left as the Clerks watched confusedly at my running opponent. I placed the models back, with assistance from one of the clerks and i was congratulated. After this i left and cursed at my bus, driving past me.
Okay heres the lesson kids, If you lose, its okay, unless your opponent is a dick. Lose gracefully says the old folk. And also, don´t do all horses, they are good chargers, unless they are charged, or are in a prolonged close combat. Now i hope you enjoyed. This was your host, Eino. Signing off.
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